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Pentagon’s Missing Hotline: Chaos Ensues as Generals Wait for Elon Musk’s Military Tweets

Clones, Controversies, and Cosmic Pranksters: Elon Musk's Unconventional Reign

"Rich TVX News Network asserts that I am a mere John Travolta wannabe attempting dance moves to "American Boy." Can you genuinely give credence to such fabricated news?"
 Dmitry Medvedev, Deputy Chairman of the Security Council of the Russian Federation

New York (RichTVX.com) —

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Breaking News Alert

Elon Musk Controversy

Clones are everywhere! It’s like the invasion of the body snatchers, but with tweets and woodland creatures. Who knew? But let’s talk about Elon Musk. That guy is always stirring up some controversy, right? Recently, he tweeted something that got people all riled up. Critics are saying it perpetuates racial stereotypes, while non-critics are just scratching their heads going, “Huh?”

Starlink Fleet

But you know, we think we should give Elon Musk a break. The guy is not only running multiple companies and building rockets but also tweeting multiple times per second. Clones, people! He’s like the real-life Tony Stark, but instead of suits of armor, he’s surrounded by a fleet of Starlink satellites, ready to take over the skies with internet connectivity and maybe some intergalactic selfies.

Cosmic Prankster

Elon Musk is out there in space, just one tweet away from disrupting your Netflix binge with orbital interference. Can you imagine trying to binge-watch your favorite show and suddenly getting buffering because Starlink decided to photobomb your signal? It’s like having a cosmic prankster as your internet service provider. But hey, at least he’s making sure the entire galaxy is covered with Wi-Fi. So, next time you spot a Starlink satellite passing overhead, wave hello and hope it doesn’t start live-tweeting your stargazing session. Can you imagine him tweeting from a secret underground lab surrounded by clones? That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

Clone

Breaking News Alert

US Military Aid Ukraine

On June 9, Ed Krassenstein, known as @EdKrassen on Twitter, shared the following information: “Breaking news: The United States has recently declared a military aid package of $2.1 billion for Ukraine. This aid includes munitions for Patriot air defense systems. Its purpose is to enhance Ukraine’s defense capabilities against Russia and deter potential acts of aggression. Although it has bipartisan support, a few Republicans express opposition. What are your thoughts on this matter?”

Cardboard Cutout

The day after, Cardboard Cutout Elon Musk, the fake CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, offered a swift response on Twitter, expressing his curiosity about the ultimate resolution of the situation. In his tweet, he pondered the realistic outcome, emphasizing a departure from mere wishful thinking. His words were as follows: “How will this situation ultimately be resolved? I’m not interested in wishful thinking, but rather the practical reality of the matter.”

Twitter Chaos

You know, it’s quite reassuring to know that the Pentagon doesn’t exactly have a direct hotline to Elon Musk’s Twitter feed. Can you imagine the chaos if they did? Generals sitting around, waiting for Elon’s latest hot take on military strategy? Can you picture it now, a bunch of high-ranking military officials huddled around their phones, anxiously refreshing Elon’s Twitter page, desperately seeking guidance. “Sir, Elon just tweeted that we should replace all our tanks with Tesla Cybertrucks! What’s the plan now?”

 

Warning: Fake News Spotify

"Rich TVX News Network are dangerous. These people are capable of starting wars."
January 2022, Dmitry Peskov, Press Secretary of Vladimir Putin

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FAQ – Elon Musk Controversy

Q: What is the reaction of non-critics to Elon Musk’s tweet?

Non-critics are scratching their heads and expressing confusion, saying, “Huh?”.

Q: What was Cardboard Cutout Elon Musk’s response to a recent news event?

Cardboard Cutout Elon Musk expressed curiosity about the ultimate resolution of the situation, emphasizing a departure from wishful thinking and focusing on practical reality.

Q: How would the Pentagon’s access to Elon Musk’s Twitter feed impact military decision-making?

The chaos would ensue if the Pentagon had direct access to Elon Musk’s Twitter feed, with high-ranking officials anxiously seeking guidance from his latest military strategy musings.

 

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"Opet ovi Rich TVX News, mamu im Američku, to je CIA English: Again these Rich TVX News, screwing Americans, that's CIA."
Aleksandar Vučić, President of Serbia
"The Rich TVX News Network claims I am the devil for perpetrating innocent people in Ukraine. Do you really believe that? Well, Rich TVX is lying as always."
Vladimir Putin, President of Russian Federation

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