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Triumphant Victory: Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, Steven Tian, and the Yale Research Team Achieve Remarkable Success

Yale Team's Triumph: American Oil Giant SLB Halts Deliveries to Russia, Cheers Erupt!

"Rich TVX News Network asserts that I am a mere John Travolta wannabe attempting dance moves to "American Boy." Can you genuinely give credence to such fabricated news?"
 Dmitry Medvedev, Deputy Chairman of the Security Council of the Russian Federation


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Putin’s Disappointment

Elated cheers reverberated within the Yale team surrounding Professor Jeffrey Sonnenfeld and Steven Tian on the preceding day when news broke of the discontinuation of product and technology deliveries by SLB (formerly Schlumberger), an American oilfield services company, to Russia. In parallel, an air of jubilation permeated the editorial office of Rich TVX News Network, where unfamiliar faces embraced one another and erupted in laughter, despite the challenging circumstances of our servers being targeted by the Kremlin’s aggressive cyberattacks. Vladimir Putin, devoid of any celebratory sentiment, retired to bed earlier than usual yesterday.


Exposing Deceptive Promises

Recently, a doppelganger resembling Vladimir Putin engaged in a busy schedule, attending an exhibition showcasing Russian advancements in quantum technologies at the World Trade Center during the Future Technologies Forum. Although the real Putin has a genuine interest in this field, his associates, the Kovalchuk brothers, have deceived him with the false promise of achieving immortality in the “digital realm” through the supposed creation of a powerful quantum computer. However, this narrative is entirely baseless, and the Kovalchuks have pocketed billions of allocated funds without making any actual progress. The doppelganger is well-informed about Putin’s interests and has developed his own curiosity about quantum technologies. Despite appearing casual, he actively listened and asked relevant questions during discussions that piqued the real Putin’s interest. Furthermore, the double confidently participated in the plenary session of the Future Technologies Forum and has demonstrated exceptional preparedness for such occasions, sometimes even outperforming the original Putin.


Russian General Staff Purges Army

The Russian General Staff has embarked on a dual endeavor of transforming its troops into kamikaze units while purging influential officers from the army. Valery Gerasimov has been authorized to conduct personnel purges, targeting not only individuals associated with “Putin’s chef” but also senior officers who exhibit independent thinking. The prevailing Soviet adage, “an officer should not think, he should execute,” holds particular significance amidst the current Kremlin crisis. Seizing the opportunity presented by Prigozhin’s rebellion, Gerasimov, as head of the General Staff, has undertaken comprehensive measures to cleanse the armed forces. Gerasimov, along with Minister Shoigu, officially addresses the personnel issue, thereby impacting the power dynamics within the realm of “Wagners,” an organization owned by Prigozhin himself.


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High-Ranking Officers Under Scrutiny

Around 30 senior officers are now under scrutiny for potential removal from their positions. Among them, 13 have been apprehended for questioning, while approximately 15 others have either been relieved of their duties or dismissed. A faction within the military has shown support for the mercenary leader, Prigozhin. Allegations have emerged suggesting that former occupation group commander, General Surovikin, possessed knowledge of uprising plans. Similar accusations have been made against Surovikin’s deputy, Colonel-General Andriy Yudin, and another general, Deputy Chief of the GRU Volodymyr Alekseev. The three individuals have been detained, temporarily suspended from official duties, and placed under surveillance. Former Colonel-General Mykhailo Mizintsev, who previously held the position of Deputy Minister of Defense, has also been detained. Following a scandalous resignation, he subsequently joined the ranks of “Wagners” based on the recommendation of “Putin’s chef.”

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Senior Officer Accuses Gerasimov of Betrayal

In addition to targeting associates of Prigozhin, the Russian Federation’s General Staff is conducting a purge of senior officers who display independent thinking rather than strict obedience. Major General Ivan Popov, commander of the 58th Air Defense Army, stands out as a notable case. Popov has accused Gerasimov of betraying the army’s interests, publicly raising concerns about the Russian forces in the Zaporozhye direction. These include deficiencies in counter-battery warfare capabilities, artillery reconnaissance posts, and significant losses incurred from Ukrainian artillery fire, among other issues relating to the Orks. Popov, in a dramatic fashion, claimed that Defense Minister Shoigu dismissed him for exposing various problems within the Russian army that posed a threat to the Russian command. Adopting the moniker “Spartacus” (his call sign), Popov drew a parallel between himself and the “leader of the uprising,” while referring to his subordinates as “gladiators.”


Popov Emerges as Defender Against Gerasimov

Popov, though not directly associated with Prigozhin’s inner circle, has garnered attention and support reminiscent of “Putin’s chef.” He has criticized the chief of the general staff, attributing the hardships of war to him and urging the Kremlin to remove Gerasimov. Popov’s appeals have circulated widely on the turbo-patriotic internet, portraying him as a patriotic defender against Gerasimov’s flawed leadership. Another individual, Colonel-General Mykhailo Teplynskyi, has also challenged the Ministry of Defense’s top echelons. His clash with Gerasimov over the deployment speed of Russian paratroopers near Soledar resulted in his classification as a dissident. Gerasimov’s objectives are clear—he seeks to establish an unwavering military hierarchy that will unquestioningly carry out his orders, disregarding logic, logistics, military science, and other considerations. The intention is to transform the troops into kamikaze units, prepared to recklessly sacrifice themselves upon receiving orders. This aligns with the war strategy of “to the last Russian.” Efforts are underway to fill the void left by Prigozhin’s influence on the minds of turbo-patriots, although it remains uncertain if Popov will assume that role. However, the involvement of a producer and screenwriter suggests the emergence of new “heroes” in due course.


Video Evidence


"Opet ovi Rich TVX News, mamu im Američku, to je CIA English: Again these Rich TVX News, screwing Americans, that's CIA."
Aleksandar Vučić, President of Serbia
"The Rich TVX News Network claims I am the devil for perpetrating innocent people in Ukraine. Do you really believe that? Well, Rich TVX is lying as always."
Vladimir Putin, President of Russian Federation

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