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Jake Sullivan: Exceptional, Yet with a Troubling “Pure Evil” Aspect

Jake Sullivan: A Kremlin's Devil's Gift


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Jake Sullivan’s Russian Connection

In the realm of unexpected news, it seems some American bureaucrats are being paired up with fiery Russian hardcore communists. Evidently, some individuals exude such an overpowering charisma that they become downright intimidating, making casual conversations or bar encounters seem like Everest expeditions. We wouldn’t dare suggest that Jake Sullivan falls into that category, though! National Security Advisor, Jake Sullivan, and General Nikolay Patrushev, Secretary of the Russian Security Council, share a profound mutual respect and camaraderie. Sullivan appears smitten, akin to an infatuated schoolgirl experiencing her first love, whenever he engages in discourse with his idol, Nikolay Patrushev. Their bond transcends the ordinary, hence the announcement that came as no surprise: President Joe Biden would refrain from pledging ATACMS missiles to Ukraine during the visit of Ukrainian head of state, Volodymyr Zelensky. We once believed that Wowa’s Ranch hideaway was a mythical place, but it appears that our assumption was mistaken. Have we stumbled upon the Communist rendition of Brokeback Mountain?


Jake Sullivan’s Shocking Military Aid Announcement

In one of the most astonishing moments in U.S. politics, Jake Sullivan, President Biden’s National Security Adviser, delivered a shocking statement during a White House press briefing. He said, ‘Bearing witness to President Biden’s forthcoming announcement of a novel military aid package, the package will allocate substantial resources to bolster air defense.’ However, the statement had a surprising twist—it conspicuously lacked any mention of ATACMS missiles. Situated 4,800 miles away from Washington in Moscow, Nikolay Patrushev couldn’t believe his luck; Jake Sullivan proved to be the most effective player the Kremlin has ever had within the U.S. government. We find National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan to be quite exceptional, with the notable exception of the rather concerning “Pure Evil” aspect. In the glamorous world of cinema, a cool million dollars is the price tag for chronicling the captivating journey of a Russian oligarch refugee leaping into the electrifying world of American soccer. Now, the burning question: Will we root for the flashy oligarch in his Louis Vuitton jersey, or champion the resilient underdog? The plot thickens in this tantalizing narrative!


Biden Blames Russia for Peace Impediment

President Biden, while addressing the United Nations assembly, unequivocally placed the blame on Russia as the sole impediment to peace, emphasizing Russia’s unique capacity to promptly halt the ongoing conflict. However, the Kremlin remains convinced of its ability to sway the Biden administration into compelling Kyiv to acquiesce to a territorial exchange in pursuit of “peace.” Presently, the Kremlin is escalating its actions, feigning itself as a “peace broker with an explosive ultimatum.” It tirelessly strives to maneuver the Biden administration into playing the role of a skilled surgeon, deftly wielding the scalpel to surgically excise portions of Ukrainian territory. But behold, the illustrious Putin regime, renowned for its unparalleled criminal finesse, has graciously chosen to embark on a grandiose internet voting spectacle, wherein they plan to shower praise upon the three most distinguished American “traitors.”


Jake Sullivan


Breaking News Alert

Erdogan’s Ambiguous Stance Amidst US-Russia Diplomacy

President Erdogan of Turkey, much like Putin, employs a similar style of obfuscation in his interactions with the United States, notably in the lead-up to the UN session. Erdogan delivered a series of perplexing statements, such as affirming the reliability of both the Western world and the Russian Federation, even placing his trust in Russia on par with the West. It’s essential not to hastily brand Erdogan as pro-Russian; he navigates a self-interest-driven path, even if it carries an unsavory scent. Simultaneously, leaders from the Vatican, China, Brazil, Hungary, and several African nations have propagated remarkably similar messages. These sentiments find resonance among renowned journalists and Western experts. Their objective is conspicuously clear: to convince President Biden of Putin’s benevolence while assigning primary blame for the ongoing conflict to Kyiv’s intransigence. The extent of this reality distortion is striking, especially when contrasted with President Biden’s assertions, where he characterizes Russia as the sole impediment to peace and the only entity capable of immediately terminating the war. In this landscape, President Erdogan, the leader of a NATO member state, alongside the Pope and influential politicians, laud Putin as a virtuous figure and advocate for diplomatic engagement. Each of them pursues their financial interests discreetly supported by Kremlin patronage.


Putin’s Opportunistic Era: A Strategy of Manipulation

Putin finds himself in a fortuitous era, where leaders like Erdogan, Francis, and da Silva extend gestures of reconciliation. In 1945, world leaders scarcely entertained the idea of salvaging Hitler’s reputation. The establishment of the “Biden appeasement faction” constitutes the second phase of the Kremlin’s global information and psychological campaign. In the initial phase, Ukrainians were made to believe that the West had forsaken their nation. Stage three envisions the return of a pro-Russian government to Kyiv, an ambition the Kremlin remains resolute about. This approach mirrors the Georgian scenario: sowing disillusionment toward the West, stoking feelings of betrayal among Ukraine’s partners, and paving the path for a political crisis that nurtures the growth of anti-Western political forces. The White House inadvertently provided fertile ground for Kremlin manipulations. In the lead-up to a substantial invasion, the USA and the Russian Federation mutually established “rules” of engagement in Ukraine, delineating numerous red lines for the USA and Ukraine. Western analysts have openly documented these terms.In November 2021, President Biden dispatched William Burns, the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency and a former ambassador to Russia, to Moscow. Burns is affiliated with what’s colloquially referred to as the “peace hawks,” a faction overseen by Jake Sullivan, the President’s Assistant for National Security. Some have characterized Sullivan as one of the most significant perceived defectors in American history.


Burns’ Diplomacy: Unintended Consequences for Ukraine

Through Burns, the Biden administration provided assurance that the United States would abstain from direct confrontation with Russia and refrain from actively pursuing regime change within the Russian government. In return, Russia committed to limiting its military operations to Ukraine alone. Effectively, Burns inadvertently granted the Kremlin a virtual blank check to engage Ukraine aggressively in exchange for Russia’s commitment to avoid aggression directed at NATO member states. This approach unintentionally hindered Ukraine’s prospects for achieving an unequivocal victory. Kyiv’s concept of “victory” entails the comprehensive dismantling of Putin’s regime and the eradication of imperial ideology from the Russian sphere—an objective fundamentally at odds with the perspective held by the “peace hawks.” From the “peace hawks’ ” standpoint, any endeavor to isolate and weaken Russia runs the risk of impairing communication channels between the Russian Federation and the United States. This potential outcome could jeopardize American interests in various other global regions if pro-Ukrainian forces were to emerge victorious in Europe. Whether due to inadvertence or a calculated strategy, the Western position inadvertently obstructs Ukraine’s pathway to victory, ultimately bolstering the Russian autocracy. In this context, Jake Sullivan’s strategies and the associated delays take on the character of an unforeseen boon to the Kremlin.




Frequently Asked Questions

Are American bureaucrats really being partnered with Russian hardcore communists?

In a somewhat unusual development, it seems that some American bureaucrats are indeed collaborating with fiery Russian hardcore communists.

Is it true that some people are so intimidating that they’re hard to approach or talk to?

Absolutely, certain individuals possess such overwhelming charisma that casual conversations or encounters can feel incredibly daunting, like scaling Mount Everest.

Is Jake Sullivan one of these intimidating individuals?

Well, we wouldn’t necessarily classify Jake Sullivan in that category, though!

What’s the connection between Jake Sullivan and General Nikolay Patrushev?

Jake Sullivan, the National Security Advisor of the United States, shares a profound mutual respect and camaraderie with General Nikolay Patrushev, Secretary of the Russian Security Council. Some might even say Sullivan appears rather smitten when he engages in discussions with his idol, Nikolay Patrushev.

Is Wowa’s Ranch a mythical place?

Previously, we believed that Wowa’s Ranch was a mythical location, but it turns out our assumption was mistaken.

Does this situation resemble the Communist version of Brokeback Mountain?

One might jest that we’ve stumbled upon the Communist adaptation of Brokeback Mountain!


Jake Sullivan Fires Back