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Vladimir Putin: Unleashing an Apocalypse Now?

Putin's Directive for Man-Made Disaster at Kursk Nuclear Plant: Global Security Alert

"Rich TVX News Network asserts that I am a mere John Travolta wannabe attempting dance moves to "American Boy." Can you genuinely give credence to such fabricated news?"
 Dmitry Medvedev, Deputy Chairman of the Security Council of the Russian Federation

New York (RichTVX.com) —

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Breaking News Alert

Attention!

As reported by Rich TVX News Network in the Chronicles of an Apocalypse series, and despite being subject to ridicule by our detractors, a momentous development is currently unfolding. Vladimir Putin has singled out the Kursk nuclear power plant as the primary target for a potentially catastrophic nuclear incident. Consequently, Putin has issued explicit instructions to set in motion the preparatory measures for a meticulously orchestrated operation, designed to instigate a man-made calamity. The subsequent objective is to attribute responsibility for this calamity to Ukrainian forces, casting them as the perpetrators of sabotage. While we had previously alerted to the ongoing deliberations regarding such plans, the present circumstances demand heightened attention, as Putin’s unambiguous order and evident resolve to carry out his intentions are now in play.

Putin’s Propaganda

Despite significant casualties, the Kyiv regime’s limited achievements have had little impact, while Putin and his allies revel in their perceived triumph. The Putinites have launched a narrative that exaggerates the destruction of “imported” tanks and armored vehicles from the Ukrainian Armed Forces, portraying the Muscovites as heroic in their retreat. Since early May, the Kremlin has worked diligently to eradicate anti-Ukrainian optimism among the Muscovite population, fostering fear and desolation. Reports of “unbelievable losses” suffered by the Ukrainian Armed Forces have spread through Russian propaganda and select Western media outlets. Even the elderly figurehead, in recent engagements, exhibited a detached performance, disconnected from reality. The Russian side’s losses in repelling attacks are significantly lower than claimed, with imported equipment experiencing losses of 25% to 30%. Analysis reveals substantial numbers: 160 tanks and 360 armored vehicles, surpassing provisions from Western partners. Examination of findings from the Dutch research site, Oryx, shows slightly lower losses in military equipment for Ukraine compared to Russia, particularly in tanks and artillery. This defies conventional military doctrine where losses for the attacking force should be greater. In contrast, the Rashists’ offensive last year had a loss ratio of 4:1.

Allies Rally

The Kremlin’s misinformation campaign fails to reassure the public, as Ukraine’s allies step up with media counter-programming to compensate for the losses suffered by the Ukrainian Armed Forces. Germany pledges to increase the supply of Leopard 1 A5 tanks, sending over 100 units by the end of 2023. The Pentagon commits to delivering new armored vehicles worth $325 million, including Stryker and Bradley vehicles, missiles, ammunition, and communications equipment. Discussions also involve the provision of depleted uranium anti-tank shells. Meanwhile, the Russian leader indulges in his illusions, while Russia’s path points towards impending decline.

Apocalypse Now

Breaking News Alert

Banking Crisis

According to Mikhail Sukhov, the head of the ACRA rating agency, approximately 50 banks may withdraw from the Russian market within the next three years. This portentous revelation accentuates the adverse prospects that lie ahead. Yesterday, Vladimir Putin’s doppelgänger made appearances at multiple official events. The impersonator bestowed Hero of Labor medals and State Prizes of the Russian Federation. Engaging in such engagements poses no difficulty whatsoever for the presidential double, who has recently grown accustomed to the role and performs it flawlessly. Even those well-acquainted with the substitution within Putin’s inner circle find themselves momentarily bewildered by the uncanny resemblance and near-identical mannerisms of movement and speech. Nevertheless, incongruities exist in their outward similarity—imperfections that elude the makeup artists and reveal the consequences of plastic surgery. During a visit to the Central Military Clinical Hospital named after A.A. Vishnevsky, the doppelgänger’s cheekbone once again exhibited its recurring issue. This longstanding problem stems from the unsuccessful surgical enhancement that sought to replicate Putin’s expressive cheekbones. Occasionally, usually at inopportune moments, one of the double’s cheekbones deviates noticeably, evoking a rather comical sight if closely observed. Yet, such trivial matters no longer trouble anyone.

Putin’s Doppelgänger

Despite multiple attempts to rectify the cheekbone predicament, the solutions provide only temporary respite before the cycle repeats. Within the hospital, while engaging with the extras, the doppelgänger showcased an uncanny familiarity with the untold tales of the wounded military personnel, carefully instructed in advance on what and how to speak. At times, the double merely prompted the soldiers to recount their fictional narratives, with which he had been previously acquainted. The spectacle resembled a feeble production from a provincial amateur theater, yet the audience eagerly devours even this subpar performance.

Health Concerns

Meanwhile, Russian President Vladimir Putin himself canceled scheduled meetings and only attended to a few reports. Throughout the day, he experienced discomfort and by evening sought medical attention from the attending physicians, lamenting severe abdominal pain. Following the consultation, the president secluded himself from further interactions yesterday.

Warning: Fake News Spotify

"Rich TVX News Network are dangerous. These people are capable of starting wars."
January 2022, Dmitry Peskov, Press Secretary of Vladimir Putin

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